A Glimpse Into My Heart
Tonight I heard a song on the radio. An old song, from way back in 1992. The artist was Wayne Watson (anyone other than my parents remember him?) and the song was called “Somewhere in the World.”
Its a sweet song about what he imaged the little girl was like who would grow up to marry his son, and how he was praying for her, because “one day he’ll need a godly wife.”
I only remember hearing that song once before, though I probably heard it several times growing up. But this one time stands out in my mind. My mom and I were in the car (I still remember the street we were on) and I was probably 10 or 11. After the song was over, my mom told me how she was praying for my future husband, that he would be godly. And how she had been praying for him for a while. And how important it was to her. It really struck me.
Hearing this song tonight reminded me of that conversation. And hearing the words again greatly convicted me.
Now that I’m older, I also pray for my future husband (though not as faithfully as I should). I pray that he will be grounded in his faith, that he will be humble,patient, and slow to anger. That he will be active in his church. I pray for personality traits like humor and liking kids, that he will be respectful to adults and enjoy animals. I pray that he and I will be singular in convictions, both political and spiritual. And sometimes I even pray I’ll meet him soon.
I have no idea who my future husband is, and marriage seems a little ways down the road, but I am excited about him and I do want it.
And yet, while there are things I’m praying for in my future spouce (again, I don’t do this nearly as much as I should), I realized that I don’t even meet some of the things I’m looking for. I want to be a godly woman, and someday wife, but I am no where near that today. I started thinking, if my in-laws-to-be could see my life growing up, the struggles I have had, the issues with my faithfulness in devotions and friendships, would they think I’d be a godly woman for their son?
And then I started thinking about God (why is it I always come to Him last?) who HAS seen my life. What must He think! I can’t imagine. It made me cringe. But then another song came to me, the one I quoted at the bottom of this post. And I remembered something. Forgiveness.God is so faithful to forgive me, purify me, and make me new. And I am so undeserving.
Thanks be to God, he saved a wretch like me.
Thanks be to God, his mercies are new every morning.
Thanks be to God, his love endures forever.
I know that I have so much to learn and so far to grow to become a godly woman. I’m thankful that God is patient, forgiving, and merciful. And I’m thankful for the godly mother he gave me, so that I can have a constant example to follow.
I have far to go! But tonight I was encouraged and am determined to prepare myself (as I often so selfishly forget to do) and submit myself to become a godly woman and to be worthy of a godly husband.
“For all the times I’ve failed you, Lord, forgive me. For all the times I’ve fallen short, Lord, forgive me now. Purify me, make me new… Like only You can do. Lord, forgive me now.”
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The Surrendered Life 