So He’s A Bit of A Fixer-Upper… (LWB)

Chapter 6: Lies Women Believe About Marriage

Day 2: Letting Go

Lie #22: “It is my responsibility to change my mate.”

Let’s face it: we like projects. There’s a reason that DIY has been so popular for so long. We love to watch shows where people transform houses (I’ll confess, I can’t get enough of Fixer-Upper), we spend hours on Pinterest finding projects we can tackle in our home, and we can’t wait to go to the thrift store to find something we can refurbish. I see it constantly.

Oddly enough, there’s not only an endless supply of ideas, instructions, and materials to build or fix-up whatever you want, there are also some pretty funny fails. It’s not that surprising, though, when you consider what’s offered:


Let me just be completely, 100% honest with you: as amazing and as simple as it looks to paint that? IT’S NOT. And yet more than 11,000 people have bookmarked this picture… many of them will plan to one day do it… and some of them will actually attempt it. Of those, not many will succeed.

But seriously, who wouldn’t want to have that image in their home? It’s so beautiful, so peaceful. And now that we’ve seen it, we want it, don’t we? Sure, the room is fine the way it is, but it could always be improved, right? And then we start looking around at other people’s homes to get ideas… we like what they have better than what we have, and we can’t unsee it – now we need it.

Why am I talking about DIY projects? Because some women treat their husbands like a DIY project.  Continue reading

Marriage – It’s Not Give & Take (LWB)

Lies Women Believe About Marriage

Day 1: Expectations in Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Lie #21: “I have to have a husband to be happy.”

Yesterday, in way of introduction, we talked about the danger of expecting a boyfriend or husband to satisfy you and make you happy. We learned that the purpose of our relationships is the glory of God, not our own personal satisfaction, and therefore, we are to give in our relationships, not take. And the only way for us to be givers is to find all that we want, desire, and need in our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Making God your portion is not a simple, easy, or passive thing – it requires commitment, determination, and persistence. It’s also not a one-shot deal. It is something you must continually choose to do, or else you will quickly revert back to your natural instinct to take from others and expect them to satisfy you or make you happy. This is true not just of marriage but of any relationship we may have. Continue reading

Which God Do You Serve? (LWB)

Lies Women Believe About Marriage

Day 1: Expectations in Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Lie #21: “I have to have a husband to be happy.”

so happy togetherAs we begin studying this chapter on marriage, I hope you’ll continue to see how each of the previous things we’ve studied have led us here. Lies build on each other — and so does truth. And as we begin to align ourselves to the Truth about God, it follows naturally that we begin to see the Truth of ourselves, and then of sin. Knowing these Truths, we then make a radical shift in our priorities – which then, in turn, will begin to affect our relationships. The next two chapters deal specifically with marriage and children, but even if you do not yet have a family, there are still some pretty serious Truths you need to know for when you do get married or have children.

Before we talk about the specifics of dangerous expectations in marriage, I want to start with another kind of expectation – the expectation that you cannot be okay with a guy in your life. That only a boyfriend or husband can truly bring you happiness or satisfaction. 

What’s wrong with this, you ask? Well, though many see this as accurate, or maybe just not a big deal, and perhaps classify it as a “small sin,” it is the first and most devastating lie a woman can believe about relationships and herself.  Continue reading

Feminism and the Christian Woman (LWB)

Lies Women Believe About Priorities

Day 5: The Heart of Your Home

Lie #20: “A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.”


Christian woman, feminism is not your friend.

I’ve heard far too many people tout themselves as “Christian feminists,” but I argue that such a thing is not possible. You can be only one or the other. Now before you close this window and vow never to come back, let me explain.

We like to think feminism is about equality, but it’s not. It’s about domination. Domination over men and domination over each other.

I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.
-Andrea Dworkin

Since marriage constitutes slavery for women, it is clear that the women’s movement must concentrate on attacking this institution. Freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage.
-Sheila Cronin, the leader of the feminist organization NOW

The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race.
-Sally Miller Gearhart, in The Future – If There Is One – Is Female

Feminism is about being selfish, not selfless. It’s about taking from others, not giving to others. Is this not the complete opposite of how God calls us to live? Continue reading

Welcoming God’s Power (LWB)

Lies Women Believe About Priorities

Day 4: Time in Prayer

Lie #19 – “I can make it without consistent time in the Word & prayer.”


Did you know that the average evangelical Christian spends only 3 minutes a day in prayer? And evangelical pastors spend 5. There is something very wrong with this.

I think it’s worthwhile to note that there’s a reason prayer and Bible study are called spiritual disciplines. The first is that they are the most spiritual things you can do – and prayer is THE most spiritual thing you can do. Secondly, consider the meaning of the word discipline: “training to act in accordance with rules; drill.” I think we can all agree that training and drills are challenging – and that’s the point. Our time spent in spiritual discipline is training us, equipping us, and making us strong and competent for the troubles ahead – regardless if those trouble are the daily pressures we face or a major trial that may be around the corner.  Continue reading

Living in God’s Power (LWB)

Lies Women Believe About Priorities

Day 3: Time in the Word

Lie #19: “I can make it without consistent time in the Word & Prayer.”


Have you heard the phrase, “Giving the devil a foothold?” It comes from Ephesians 4:27, and it’s in the context of holding on to hurt and anger. When you indulge in those things, it’s like taking your armor off while you’re at war – it’s going to kill you. And not just those sins, but any sin that you indulge, or as Romans 13:14 says, that you make provision for, opens you up to be destroyed. And the devil does not wait for you to have a vulnerability to come up with an attack – he’s already pursuing you. 1 Peter 5:8 warns us to be alert, because the devil is on the prowl, and he’s looking at us for his next meal.

I think too many people dismiss the importance of cultivating their relationship with God through personal worship simply because they’ve lost sight of the bigger picture of spiritual warfare going on in our lives on a daily basis. Continue reading

Following Jesus’ Example (LWB)

Chapter 5: Lies Women Believe About Priorities

Day 2: Jesus’ Example

Lie #18 (part 2): “I don’t have time to do everything I’m supposed to do.”

I hope you took the time to develop your personal purpose statements. Knowing where you came from, where you’re going, and who you belong to is crucial in being able to make good decisions on both a large and small scale.

We’ve been working backwards on this subject, in case you haven’t noticed yet🙂. First we talked about the practical side of things such as how to make a priority list and how to schedule your time. Then we talked about the purpose of your life – which is what you need to know in order to effectively schedule your time and determine your priorities. Now we’re going to look at Jesus’ example so we can see how it plays out.  Continue reading